Check it, don’t wreck it
Keys: check (although actually I haven’t brought any keys as my house key is with the stand by cat sitter and Vandy had the car keys to drive himself home from the airport with).
Wallet: check (although it’s pretty much empty, I’m not gonna need my Tesco club card in Italy am I?!).
Money: nah, don’t need to check, it’s safely and neatly stacked in the Special Envelope handed with a smile to Vandy by the travel agent when he changed up the money for me (aw bless him), no need to disturb those lovely crisp notes and mess it all up eh?
Passports: check- mine, Rex’s, Ranulph’s. SHIT are they all in date, phew, yes they are.
Ok, ready, steady, GO!
***
SHIT, SHIT, SHIT! Argh, why didn’t I check the MFing Special Envelope?!!!!!!!!!!!! Damn me. Actually, damn Vandy- why didn’t HE check?!!!!
‘Babe, you left your ****** *********** ********* passport in the Special Envelope with the Euros……no, no I can’t ask Roberto to stand in line at the Post Office to send it back to you…..yes, we’ll have to wait until we’re out of quarantine to post it, yes, I know, how annoying!
***
What do you mean you still haven’t got it?! FFS
***
Ok, just book a flight anyway and let’s just fucking hope it arrives in time.
Saturday, perfect, I won’t tell the boys- just in case….
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?! It’s Friday morning! Argh we’re doomed, everything is wrecked (especially my nerves). You’re not going to make it. SOB.
The tracking says it’s in transit from the central depot. I don’t fucking know what that means?!
Oh, it’s arrived. Well, that’s good then, see you tomorrow…