‘Questa è Italia’
Italian Bureaucracy part two (part one is a previous post, reading it will give you context):
A couple of weeks passed by with me trying to get used to the idea of not moving the build forward until the winter and wondering/ worrying how that would fit in with Vandy’s already readjusted work diary. Also the climate, would it be wet and further delay certain jobs? But, hey- at least we’d be getting going, right?
Wrong….a follow up meeting with il tecnico to look at the new plans, drawn up after the first visit when he measured the house with his own little laser device, revealed another discrepancy.
On the morning of the meeting, I brushed the children’s hair and my own (both a rare occurrence) put on trousers as opposed to the denim hot pants I’d been wearing daily (gots to get them legs braaaaaan) donned my mascherina (Covid mask) and knocked on the closed door of the commune building to indicate I was ready for my meeting with Daniele. Leaving the kids ‘to behave and be quiet’ I was ushered into a vast room with an enormous boardroom table. Daniele was looking a little sheepish and not quite meeting my eye…. hmmmm?
Plans carefully unfolded and laid out, commune rep present (actually transpires he’s Daniele’s dad which may have added to his uncharacteristic shiftiness today!) it is explained to me that the volume of the house is greater than that which it has permission to be= una problema.
Breathe.
Ok, so what’s the solution.
You make it smaller.
And, I pray, how do you suggest I might do this.
Knock a wall down.
Uh hu. Tell me, is this ‘problema’ a litigation or a safety issue?
Litigation.
I see, so can we ignore it?
No!
Inward roll of eyes, outward beaming smile so that it can be seen in my eyes above my mouth covering. Righto, let’s go to the house and make a plan shall we chaps.
Throughout this rather important meeting the boys have been playing ‘flip the bottle’ (NO! Not spin the bottle you werido readers, they’re aged 4 and 8 and they’re brothers!) with their new aluminium flasks. So while attempting to maintain a cool, professional exterior my blood was starting to boil at the tinny crash echoing repeatedly around this official building, accompanied by whoops of joy from said children!
And thus, there is a phase two of gaining permissions, another 3 months so now we cannot start work on the house at all until March 2022 AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!
But at each stage along the way- every answer which was not what I would have wished, the all encompassing explanation is simply: ‘Questa è Italia’- this is Italy. Well ok then……!