‘Questa è Italia’ #2

In order for kids to participate in sports of any kind in Italy they must produce a ‘Certificato di Salute’, basically a health screening form- such that I would require from anyone wishing to do Pilates with me, fine. Let us not forget however that questa è Italia! Therefore not a straightforward process of emailing a form for the prospective participant to complete, sign and return, no, no, no! One must make an appointment with a doctor for them to officially document your child’s good health! Ok, fine, that’s what we must do. So, we duly present ourselves to the local doctor (who visits our village once a fortnight on a Thursday at 13:00 hours and invariably leaves by 13:30 hours). The door is open, we are English so we step back slightly, knock politely and wait until we are summoned…Dr is on his phone, he does not look up. We are English, we wait politely… He apparently has finished his messaging and deigns to raise his eyes if not his head to take in our presence. We are English, we smile politely and I begin to explain what we require, in my most formal Italian. He enquires: ‘and are your children in good health?’ ‘Indeed’ I respond with an encouraging tilt of my head and await further questioning... None comes, he simply takes a sheep of plain A4, tears it crudely down the middle, holds his hand out for the boys passports (I can only assume this is note the details of and thereby verify the health of the correct child on paper) and begins to write…still no further questions… He takes his Official Stamp, pushes down hard on the thing to squeeze the last bit of ink then signs with a flourish, clearly pleased with himself.

I express my gratitude and he holds his hand out once again… ah, payment, of course... questa è Italia. I press notes into his hand, perhaps with a slightly more plaintive expression and he folds them neatly away into his wallet. A good lunchtime. An innocuous nod of the head and slight curl upwards of the lip from the doc and we are dismissed.

Now then boys, let’s get our money’s worth and enjoy as much sport as possible… before we have to do this all again next year!!!!